As 2010 begins, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world because I am living with two service dogs, Morgan and Whistle. Morgan is retired and I am so thankful he has made it through another year. He turns 12 on May 1, 2010 and I know his remaining time on this earth is limited. He has had some serious health scares in the last two years and I have been amazed at his resiliency.
Although Whistle and I have bonded into a strong working team, Morgan remains ever watchful ensuring that Whistle adequately performs his job. Retiring a service dog and ultimately saying good-bye to a service dog is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I have only done so once. I can only liken it to becoming disabled all over again. I felt so helpless.
As a member of a service dog team, I feel it is my responsibility to take the best possible care of my service dog. I vigilantly monitor their food intake, treat distribution, types of toys, and everything that goes and comes from every orface of their bodies. I think that is what makes it so difficult to lose a service dog to retirement or death. I believe that my job is to take care of them as well as they take care of me.
I will never forget the day when I lost my first service dog, Ramona. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and showed it to me. I was heartbroken. I still am.
As I anticipate Morgan’s death in the not too distant future, I am so fearful of experiencing the same emotions that ravaged my body when Ramona died. I don’t think I have ever felt such pain and agony. Since her death, I have tried to process those feelings and cope with her loss.
I am especially interested in identifying those feelings and reactions as I anticipate my loss of Morgan. I did not think I could be closer to any working dog than I was with Ramona. However, Morgan and I were once virtually one being. He knew my every move and I his. From the moment we met, we were inseparable. Even though he is retired, he stills keeps a watchful eye on me and his ears are always alert. When I call Whistle for assistance, it is Morgan who still arrives first.
The bond we develop with these working dogs can not be described or defined. My love and adoration for all of my service dogs knows no limits. It is a feeling and a loyalty that has no bounds. We simply take care of one another. It is a lifetime commitment. Unfortunately, as we all know, a lifetime has a beginning and an end.
As the day when I am placed with a service dog is one of the happiest days of my life, the day when I must say good-bye to my partner is one of the saddest days of my life. I know that 2010 may be the year when I have to say good-bye to Morgan as he turns 12 and continues to struggle with his health issues.
I hope and pray that I will have the courage to be by his side when his time comes and to honor and respect him in the manner he so deeply deserves. I don’t know when Morgan’s time will come but what I do know is that it will come. I also know that I want to be there for him as he has always been there for me.
As 2010 begins, I am thankful for each day that I can spend with Morgan and I am hopeful that 2010 will not be the year I must say good-bye to him. The only thing that brings me any consolation when saying good-bye to my service dogs, is that I believe I am not saying, “Good-bye forever my dearest friend.” Instead I am saying with all of my heart, “Good-bye my dearest friend until one day when I will see you again.”
